


I Want My Life So Bad

by DefaltManifesto



Series: The Drabble Series [19]
Category: Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: Canon Character Death (mentioned), Dissociation, Drabble, Gen, Grief, Suicidal Ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 17:30:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5936884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn’t have to be a person to be a hero.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want My Life So Bad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DefaltManifesto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/gifts).



> Title from Elastic Heart by Sia

            The thing is, he’s not fighting crime to be a good person or to use his powers for good.

            He’s fighting crime to avoid being alone too long.

 

-.-

 

            He puts away a lot of criminals.

            He smiles at Aunt May.

            He locks his door and stares at his ceiling.

 

-.-

 

            He’d accepted Gwen’s death awhile ago. He knows she wasn’t coming back, just like his Uncle Ben wasn’t, just like his parents weren’t. He knows how death works. He isn’t even sure if her death is why he has so much trouble taking each heaving breath into his lungs to ensure he stays alive.

            He’s not sure if that makes it worse.

 

-.-

 

            Bruises feel good.

            Bruises are reminders that he can still ache, still hurt, still heal.

            He’s not numb.

            Not completely.

           

-.-

 

            His walls are bare. He doesn’t want memories.

            Memories cut and hurt, tearing him open when he sleeps.

            His mind can’t protect itself when he’s sleep, vulnerable to all the pain that pulses through his veins every second.

            He wakes up and ignores the the scars on the inside of his skin.

 

-.-

 

            He doesn’t have to be a person to be a hero.


End file.
